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13 April 2005 @ 11:57 am
 
Well... I turned out a fic the other day. Kind of shocking, to me. I've not been posting because I'm focusing on my Lennon/McCartney novel (yes, novel-- I'm that lame. I have about ten or eleven thousand words so far), but I got the idea for this and decided it'd be a nice break to write something short.

So, here it is, without further ado....

Fantasies

By Cate

Summary: "He's nervous, but he wants this... he's ready for you... licking over you... his lips are so soft, he's so gentle... oh God, Paul...."

Word Count: 1,739.

"Jesus Christ, what the fuck is wrong with you!?" He rakes tense, sweaty fingers through his even sweatier hair, shaking slightly. Various scattered bottles-- lotion, cologne, Mimi's perfume, other things he's not quite sure about-- lay tipped and on their sides on the counter and at his feet. He hangs his head and tries desperately to think, but his mind isn't much for this right now. "You fucking idiot! What are you doing!?"

He pants quietly, putting a hand over his face. The thick, black frames of his glasses press into his flesh, and he can feel his lashes, slightly wet with tears, brushing against the lenses. He curses under his breath as the pressure on his groin resists decreasing. Why the fuck.... His free hand idly unzips his jeans and he gasps. Whimpering softly, he fights with his conscience; at the moment, the latter doesn't put up a very good fight. He hangs his head and closes his eyes, dropping his glasses on the counter and fumbling himself free of his jeans, dripping slightly and aching. A shiver runs down his spine as he strokes himself lightly.

On his knees in front of you... ohh... taking it slow, teasing....

"Oh Christ, yes," he whispers, swirling the pad of his thumb over the head, spreading moisture. He draws a sharp breath through his nose and undoes a shirt button, sliding his hand inside and rubbing a nipple. "Oh yes... don't stop...."

He's nervous, but he wants this... he's ready for you... licking over you... his lips are so soft, he's so gentle... oh God, Paul....

His hips arch very slightly and his head tips back-- a whimper catches in his throat and comes out more as a harsh pant. He nearly loses balance, and another bottle falls on the floor at his feet. "Shit... oh th-- yes...!" His lips are dry and his hand damp, shaking, dripping a bit on the counter.

He's... ohh... God, he's good.... Ohh... fuck, Christ, yes....

The door opens a crack; this he doesn't hear. He pants heavily, free hand caressing his own chest.

"... John?" The boy's voice is quiet, unsure, as he slips into the room, subtly reclosing and locking the door. He swallows hard, attentively, if a bit nervously, watching. His hands tremble-- he shoves them roughly into his pockets, cheeks burning scarlet.

Back arched and eyes closed, John is unaware; he strokes himself erratically, panting and swearing under his breath. "Oh, Paul," he breathes.

Paul's eyes widen. Me...? He looks at his feet, shaking all over, and takes a ragged breath, barely taking the time to think. He pads quietly over, kneeling in front of John, and gathers his courage, leaning close and licking gently over his length. As John's hand relaxes, he closes his eyes as if afraid to be struck.

With a quiet gasp, John opens his eyes. His jaw drops slightly and he shudders. "Please... please...."

"Shh...." Paul traces a vein with his tongue and John groans, gripping the edge of the counter with a slightly sticky hand, as he takes him in, humming softly in an attempt to cool his nerves. He cups John's jeans-clad backside with shaking hands, squeezing gently.

John's hips twitch a bit and he breathes Paul's name, gripping his hair with his clean hand. "Yes... oh Jesus... ah God, I...."

Paul muffles a whimper onto John's flesh, licking over the underside, tongue warm and wet; he murmurs quietly and pants through his nose as he hears John moan softly above him. Can't believe... oh Jesus, am I really doing this?

"Oh... oh! Ss... ah, fuck, Macca, I'm gonna lose it...." John's voice is soft, shaky... almost shy. Paul pulls back slightly and swallows, panting heavily and opening his eyes to look up. His glance locks immediately with John's-- his eyes are dark, staring down at him, and he wonders what he's thinking, briefly, before averting his eyes and continuing his task. He sucks gently, slowly, and slides callused hands down John's thighs, then back up again, caressing John's length with his tongue.

With a gasp and a loud cry, muffled somewhat by a palm over his mouth, John's hips buck as he climaxes shortly, body rigid. "Ah, Christ!" He pants against his hand, trembling.

Paul gags quietly, pulling back and reflexively spitting into a small plastic-lined dustbin, then, coughing into his elbow, curls slightly against the wall. He ducks his head against his knees, wrapping his arms around his shaking body. John, breathing quite loudly, bites his lip and tucks himself back into his clothes, then starts to step down from the counter but hesitates. He opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out; he hangs his head and swallows loudly.

"... You don't have to hit me. I'll go on my own, I know where the door is." Paul stands shakily and reaches for the doorknob, staring at his feet.

John's eyebrows lift. "What?" is all he can manage; a cracked, startled whisper. He mentally beats himself with a baseball bat.

"I said, you don't have to hit me, John. I'll go. Away, that is." Paul tugs at the doorknob, then curses under his breath and unlocks the door, pulling it open.

Awkwardly, John stumbles off of the counter and pushes the door shut with his foot. "Wh--!" His voice squeaks a bit and he narrows his eyes, coughing. "Why, Paul?" he whispers.

Paul's eyes stay on his feet. "Don't you... it's... aren't you going to tell me that was all a big joke, John, and... I fail some test or something, and you don't want to see me in town again because I'm a fucking queer--"

Pressing him against the door, John silences him with a rough kiss. He takes a deep breath as he pulls back, biting his lip.

"... John...." Paul swallows hard and stares into John's eyes. He shakes all over and fumbles the door open, running down the hall to John's room. He shuts and locks the door and crumples against it, head in hands, crying quietly.

*****

John shuffles his feet and raps gently on his own bedroom door. "Paul... open the door... I brought you some tea."

No reply. He tries the knob; the door is still locked, so he sets the teatray down, fishes a key out of his pocket, and quietly opens the door. Picking the tray up again, he pads softly into the room, where he finds Paul-- asleep in his bed. Oh, Christ.... He touches his mate's cheek lightly and Paul's entire body twitches. His eyes snap open and he cowers slightly, burying his flushed face in John's pillow.

Quietly, John places the tray on a small chair and crawls onto the mattress next to Paul's huddled form. "Aw, Macca, c'mon... don't do this...."

"John, if you're going to hit me, do it already." The response is muffled, but clear enough.

John's shoulders droop. "Look, if anyone's getting hit here, that should be me, Paul. Who was in there j-- ah. Uhm." He coughs, going a bit red. "Fuck it. Who was in the bathroom jacking off to the thought of another lad?"

"Which time?" sniffs Paul.

With a quiet, somewhat shocked squeak, John clears his throat. "The time we're talking about. This time." He brushes a strand of hair behind Paul's ear, speaking almost sotto voce.

Paul sighs and forgets to flinch from John's hand. "You." He closes his eyes, and now he does flinch slightly.

"Macca, I'm not going to hit you-- believe that." He lays a hand on Paul's shoulder, rubbing gently. "Christ, you're tense."

Biting his lip, Paul nods. "Yeah." His voice softens. "I'm afraid, John."

John swallows. "Okay. That's a step." Stroking Paul's shoulder lightly, he looks over his cherubic face. You shouldn't be afraid.

"I'm cold. And I'm nervous. Uhm... confused, a bit, but I don't think there's much to do about that." Paul scratches at his chest.

... That's an epidemic. Okay. Fuck pride, he's seen you in some pretty embarrassing situations. Like. Well. John sighs and rubs his face. "I can take care of the 'cold' bit," he murmurs, sliding under the covers next to Paul. "C'mon. I'm cold too."

Shyly, Paul presses to him, wrapping his arms around his waist, and to his surprise, John's arms hold him securely where he is. You smell good. He closes his eyes as John's warmth envelops him, breathing quietly and slowly. "I th-- no. I don't... know what this is. What I'm doing, John, it's scaring me, because I do care for you, but this is... beyond... anything."

John blinks, stroking his back. "And that's why...?" he begins.

He doesn't have to finish; Paul nods slowly, gripping a fistful of his shirt. "That's why, John."

"You didn't stop to think that there was a 'why' for me," he murmurs, inhaling the scent of Paul's hair with each breath.

Paul looks up a bit, then closes his eyes briefly, relaxing very reluctantly, as John kisses his forehead. "I th-thought there didn't have to be." He pauses. "John... I thought you were just putting me on. I was... am. Scared as hell, John, so afraid you're going to kick me out of your life because of how I feel about you."

Sighing, John holds him, laying his head on the pillow. "No. These things happen, Paul, and... it... seems it's happened to both of us at the same time. Not... going to do any of that Romeo shit, don't fucking need to. I think you're sexy, and... I really... yeah. Care for you. And I want to shoot myself for it, but it's true." That was eloquent.

... Sexy? Me? Paul's cheeks go red and he coughs into his hand, hunkering down against John's chest. "Seconded." He's surprised when John turns over to lie on his back, and looks at him with somewhat wide eyes. "Mm?"

"Eh." John shrugs, patting his chest and holding an arm out. "'S okay. Leg was going bit numb."

Paul blinks and lays his head over John's heart, draping an arm over him and closing his eyes. "John?" he whispers, idly stroking his side.

"Yeah?" John laces a hand through Paul's dark hair and admires the way the strands wrap around his fingers.

"Don't let go?" Paul's voice is quiet, almost husky, and he sounds exhausted.

John closes his eyes, sighing, and holds Paul tightly to his chest. "I won't. Stupid thing to do anyway."

- END

<3

Cate
Tags:
 
 
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished, if a bit ill
Current Music: "I Melt With You"-- Modern English
 
 
 
Sara the Geek: I'm a bass player by pocket_mysticpocket_mystic on April 13th, 2005 07:18 pm (UTC)
OMGTEHSQUEE!!!!

I loved it. Beautiful and romantic and all the things a fic should be. Poor insecure Paul.

I bow down to your greatness, my dear Cate.
Il Gatto Puzzolonecatnip_martini on April 13th, 2005 07:24 pm (UTC)
Eeeee, thank you dear! So glad you liked it!

[OT] ... *shifty* I working on "I'll Be Back". Finally. Last week sucked for music purposes, and the week before wasn't much better. [/OT]

<3

Cate
Sara the Geek: I'm a bass player by pocket_mysticpocket_mystic on April 14th, 2005 02:06 am (UTC)
No worries luv. I'm ready for you when you've got it up.

That sentence sounded really sexually charged. XP Never mind me.
Il Gatto Puzzolonecatnip_martini on April 14th, 2005 02:10 am (UTC)
... XD Oh yeah, I'm ready for you too baby. *giggling*

Cate
The Kink That Winked: john&paulkinkthatwinked on April 13th, 2005 08:41 pm (UTC)
That was wonderful. I loved how you made them both teenagers, in the sense that there were no especially mature moments or wise words. John was struggling with his emotions and bungling his words, just as Paul was terrified, angsty and ready to crack from the slightest insult. Yet your John said all the right things.

I liked it.
Il Gatto Puzzolone: Lennon/McCartney OTPcatnip_martini on April 13th, 2005 08:47 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much. :) I'm so glad you liked it, this was one of the best comments I've gotten in terms of real content-- I love this kind of feedback. Thanks again!

Cate
iljjc on April 13th, 2005 10:23 pm (UTC)
Love! Nervous!Paulie = happy!Hannah. It was fantastic. And I say that about everything you write, but really. This one's going in my memories. <3
Il Gatto Puzzolonecatnip_martini on April 13th, 2005 11:14 pm (UTC)
:D! Thanks luv!

I'm really surprised by the great reaction nervous!Paul has gotten-- I was worried it would be seen as, like... unnecessary drama or something, but I'm so glad people are liking it.

Thanks for reading, m'dear!

Cate
apartment42bapartment42b on April 14th, 2005 12:52 am (UTC)
AwWwwWww! <3...
Il Gatto Puzzolonecatnip_martini on April 14th, 2005 12:54 am (UTC)
:D! <333!

Cate
THIS IS WARIO'S SPACE!vindaloo on April 14th, 2005 01:47 am (UTC)
Awwwwww.....the ending was so sweet. John and Paul, cuddling...... always a good visual imagery.

That....and well....other things that involve them and a bed, also. ;)

Where have you been? I've been waiting for you to IM me so we could finish this RP thing.

I've been bored. XP

But it is always good to read a Beatleslash fic that involves young men conflicting with their sexuality at a young age. Ah, the romance it will grow into.
Il Gatto Puzzolonecatnip_martini on April 15th, 2005 02:48 am (UTC)
Very glad you liked it!

Ahh. About the RPing, I'm actually... going to quit. Because I have a girlfriend now, and it just feels... unloyal. So I'm going to stop, for now at least. I took so long off because I was deciding about this.

Cate
THIS IS WARIO'S SPACE!: Dexter shoutingvindaloo on April 17th, 2005 02:38 am (UTC)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *falls on knees*

just kidding. I understand. Just tell me when you do come back to RPing. Thank you for teaching me the ways of the instant message, oh wise one. ;)

Right now, then, I'll take any bets for someone RPing with me. Anyone. *crickets chirp*

I'm flexable.....except with George, I'm a bit stiff with his personality. XP
obviously living in a can of beans.heavyboots on April 14th, 2005 05:36 am (UTC)
"I liked it a-lot...a-lot a-lot." Haha(Been watchin a bit too much TV) It was really cute:) My favorite part was the the ending...and the beginning...and the middle! lol
Il Gatto Puzzolonecatnip_martini on April 15th, 2005 01:53 am (UTC)
*laughs* Aww thanks! XD I'm really glad you liked it. It was a fun one.

Cate
pepper4land on April 14th, 2005 01:12 pm (UTC)
Thanks I also love this.I like their shyness how they confess their feelings and their eagrness to discover and enjoy their closeness of their young and beautiful bodies.
Il Gatto Puzzolone: Lennon/McCartney OTPcatnip_martini on April 15th, 2005 01:56 am (UTC)
Thank you very much. :D I'm glad this fic has gotten such a good response.

Cate
Moorglademoorglade on April 14th, 2005 05:06 pm (UTC)
*sighs* That was lovely xD

I really liked "Paul... open the door... I brought you some tea." cause it's the little things which make me want to combust in a squee-explosion ;)

I've missed having new stuff to read from you, I have. Your Paul is so cute when he's nervous ^^

And what's this about a novel...?

*intensely curious*
Il Gatto Puzzolonecatnip_martini on April 15th, 2005 02:14 am (UTC)
Thank you muchly!!

That's one of my favourite lines, actually. :D I thought it was too cute to resist putting in.

^^; I'm really, really glad you enjoy my stuff. Hopefully I'll be writing some more short-fic soon; I'm just finding sex scenes difficult at the moment. Changing phases in my life or something; I just find it's hard to be descriptive without being overly graphic. Ah well. I'm working on finding a way around that.

As for the novel, I'm working on a short "press-release" type thing (I'll post a link when I get it finished). It's... could... be considered... what. Alternate Universe. But technically, through a loophole, it's really not. It takes place in a World War II prison camp-- John and Paul, members of the British Army, have been captured, and end up in this place with several costars-- members of various Sixties bands. There are a bunch of random cameos as well. It'll probably end up fifty to seventy thousand words long, somewhere in there. I'm glad you're interested!

Cate
Moorglade: John and Paul staticmoorglade on April 15th, 2005 05:37 pm (UTC)
^^; I'm really, really glad you enjoy my stuff. Hopefully I'll be writing some more short-fic soon; I'm just finding sex scenes difficult at the moment. Changing phases in my life or something; I just find it's hard to be descriptive without being overly graphic. Ah well. I'm working on finding a way around that.

At the risk of sounding like a squeeing fangirl, I love your writing xD And speaking as someone who couldn't possibly write a sex scene, *ever*, I heartily applaud everyone who can (I like *reading* them ^^).

As for the novel, I'm working on a short "press-release" type thing (I'll post a link when I get it finished). It's... could... be considered... what. Alternate Universe....snipping...I'm glad you're interested!

Oh, *WOW* xD I'm more than just interested - I'm *overwhelmed* with anticipation! I *love* AUs, and this sounds like a darn interesting one!And the thought of fifty to seventy thousand words of slashy goodness... *sighs in anticipation of bliss* ;)

So how long did you think it'd be before you're finished? xD
Il Gatto Puzzolonecatnip_martini on April 15th, 2005 06:17 pm (UTC)
:D! Thanks!

First chapter is done, and the second is quite close to done-- there'll be ten in all, I believe, no prologue or epilogue. It'll probably take me... six months, at least, to finish the thing, but it's also possible that my writer's block has faded enough that I'll get it done before that. I'm going to start posting the chapters one by one on _daytripper65_, my fic-journal... probably get chapter one up as soon as two is done, two as soon as three is done, et cetera. Keeps me on-rhythm.

Cate
Il Gatto Puzzolonecatnip_martini on April 15th, 2005 06:18 pm (UTC)
And by the by, mind if I add you when I'm on my own logged-in computer tonight? XD

Cate
Moorglademoorglade on April 16th, 2005 10:49 am (UTC)
Of course not - friending makes me hap-py (I'm *so* sleep-deprived today xD )

I shall add you back on these darn sloooowww Uni computers ^^
teafield on April 15th, 2005 09:49 pm (UTC)
This was great! I really loved it! Very good written adn stuff, y'know. Sorry if this comment sound half-hearted, but it's quite late here, so that's why. But I can assure you I liked it..! :D

And I'd like to read that novel of yours as well!

<3
cinders_cat_cinders_cat_ on April 17th, 2005 10:18 am (UTC)
Extremely excellent! I love how Paul just walks in and finishes John off... hehe, so bold!
Il Gatto Puzzolonecatnip_martini on April 19th, 2005 05:38 pm (UTC)
*giggle* I've been wanting to write a fic like this for absolutely ages. Thank you very much, glad you liked it!

Cate
pray to god i'll see headlights.bleepbleep93 on April 19th, 2005 05:30 pm (UTC)
Fanbloodytastic.
Flowed beautifully.
Marvelous.
Il Gatto Puzzolonecatnip_martini on April 19th, 2005 05:39 pm (UTC)
Eee, thank you very much!!! <3 Glad you liked it!

Cate